Total War Bake Off: Festag Edition


CA KingGobbo
December 27 2018

Tis the season, and no more so than in the Total War Bake Off kitchen (well, streaming room). For this, our third instalment in the Total War Bake Off, we decided to get our bakers to go all out.

This time, Creative Assembly’s intrepid bakers each had to pick a Total War: WARHAMMER I or II faction and make a bake inspired by it, and completely from scratch.

The inspiration

The inspiration for this episode is in some ways the actual Great British Bake Off’s showstopper challenge (ALL HAIL).

We’d also wanted to try setting our bakers a theme-based challenge as opposed to getting everyone to bake the same thing – and when better to try this out than Festag?

The recipes

Although we gave our bakers some vague suggestions, they all went off and did their own thing – meaning we technically don’t really have any specific recipes to share.

However, here are the blurbs they wrote about their bakes:


The Grudgin’ Roll

A Slayer’s winter meal of ground Squig, Dwarfen goat’s milks, and coagulated Ork blood, all baked in a simple pastry.

It’s a turkey sausage roll with homemade sausage, homemade citrus cranberry sauce, hard goat cheese, and a homemade rough puff pastry.



Baked broccoli and stilton soup with Orcy olive bread.

James H

Tiny Rat Bois

They’re vanilla sugar cookies with icing.

Tom P

In the more remote areas of the Empire during Festag, the village bakers celebrate their devotion to the Cult of Sigmar by creating decorated gingerbread depicting common symbols of the faith.

The most common are:

  • An undecorated Ghal Maraz – its splendour needs no adornment!
  • A twin-tailed comet
  • The Imperial Cross/Cross of Sigmar


Vanilla Bones

Devised from an ancient recipe found in the Books of Nagash. These white chocolate coated bones of Settra’s enemies lay on a bed of Nehekaran sand. A des(s)ert fit for a Tomb King.


Malekith’s Birthday Cake

Happy Birthday Malekith!

Wishing you a lovely day, & good luck taking over those nasty High Elves!

Loves & kisses,

Mum xxxxx

The verdict

Grace and Wheels were of course more than happy to offer their services as taste testers once more (although jokes aside it actually looked like this was their least painful time on Total War Bake Off yet – and there were surprises throughout).

Congratulations to our fantastic Festag winner, and tune in next time for another Total War Bake Off!